As part of my Intro to Gender Studies class, we have to come up with a topic we've always been interested in and research it. Part of the project requirements include sharing information and teaching others as well as learning about the topic yourself. So I wanted to share some information here, hoping that it'll help someone somewhere.
Here is a link that lists hotlines and organizations that can help a huge range of people. There are LGBTQ resources, teen resources, and adult resources. Domestic violence (or dating violence, in the teen years) doesn't discriminate. It effects us all.
“About 72% of 8th and 9th graders report dating;... and 1 in 10 adolescents reports being a victim of physical dating violence. Over 40% of young people who report they are victims of dating violence say that the incidents occurred in a school building or on school grounds.” (here)
“Nearly one in six (7th grade) students surveyed reported being a victim of physical dating violence in the last six months.” (here)
“Teens' caution in talking to adults might be warranted. Our surveys of a sample of adults in Michigan found that over 53% of mothers and 62% of fathers stated that they would urge their child to talk to their dating partner about dating abuse if he or she came to them about the issue.... Over 29% of mothers and 32% of fathers stated they would point out the good things in their child's relationship with the partner.”
“...[O]nly 8% of high school students used formal sources of help, such as teachers, counselors, medical personnel, or police, when confronted with dating aggression.”
(both from here)
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Writing and Learning
One thing I love about life is that there is always more to learn. Textbooks, history books, even fiction novels have something to teach us. Possibly the most important lesson I've learned so far is that, despite efforts to help, there will never be enough support for those in need. Homeless shelters will never be empty.There will always be a large number of unwanted children in the foster system or orphanages. And domestic violence shelters will always have a waiting list.
A few weeks ago, I interviewed a woman who manages a domestic violence shelter. She told me that even with federal money and private donations, the shelter is always in need. That the women and children living there, and on the waiting list, will always have to go without something or other because sometimes just feeding them is tough. So I took a list from her, a list of things they're always in need of. Besides the obvious things like business clothes, casual clothes, toiletries, and feminine products, they're looking for childhood items. As an example we laughed over, what kid wants to eat Cheerios instead of sugary Frosted Flakes? Drink water over apple juice?
The items many people fail to consider are the items shelters are in most need of. The food that has a short shelf life. Milk, bread, juice, fruit. So many people donate canned goods and pasta that they have overloads of those items and not simple things to mix the routine up a bit, like taco seasoning or boxed cake mixes and frosting.
So if you're thinking about donating clothes or anything you don't need anymore, skip Goodwill. There are always plenty of donations for Goodwill. Instead, Google a domestic violence shelter in your area and send your donations to them. Even if it's only a bag with a few shirts and some child toys, they'll appreciate it more than a corporation will.
A few weeks ago, I interviewed a woman who manages a domestic violence shelter. She told me that even with federal money and private donations, the shelter is always in need. That the women and children living there, and on the waiting list, will always have to go without something or other because sometimes just feeding them is tough. So I took a list from her, a list of things they're always in need of. Besides the obvious things like business clothes, casual clothes, toiletries, and feminine products, they're looking for childhood items. As an example we laughed over, what kid wants to eat Cheerios instead of sugary Frosted Flakes? Drink water over apple juice?
The items many people fail to consider are the items shelters are in most need of. The food that has a short shelf life. Milk, bread, juice, fruit. So many people donate canned goods and pasta that they have overloads of those items and not simple things to mix the routine up a bit, like taco seasoning or boxed cake mixes and frosting.
So if you're thinking about donating clothes or anything you don't need anymore, skip Goodwill. There are always plenty of donations for Goodwill. Instead, Google a domestic violence shelter in your area and send your donations to them. Even if it's only a bag with a few shirts and some child toys, they'll appreciate it more than a corporation will.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thoughts from my Crimes Against Women Class
As a quick summary of the first week of classes, I’ve found myself looking forward to waking up at 7:30am MWF and getting to my classes. I’ve never felt this strong drive to learn and fill myself with knowledge before. It’s both exciting and frightening. I have this feeling that I could happily add more classes to my college career, dragging it out indefinitely while taking different classes pertaining to social work, sociology, and women and gender studies. The thought is scary, since they cost lots of money at my school, but also exciting when I think of all the knowledge I would have and be able to use to help people.
All of my quotes are taken from a book required for my Crimes Against Women course at Grand Valley State University. The Invisible Woman: Gender, Crime, and Justice, third edition published in 2007, written by Joanne Belknap. It is a very well researched and documented book, so the quotes I use and information I present in my blog post are going to be treated as near fact (or, if not fact, then strongly supported statements.) Anything that is in parentheses inside a quote “(example)for you” is a part of the quote. Anything in brackets [example] is something I added to help the context of the quote. I’m also going to use the same headings that Belknap uses in her book, merely because they are spot on.
Now, onto the real topic of the blog post. As Crimes Against Women comes close to starting it’s second week, I have to read the first chapter of Belknap’s book. In the beginning I was very excited. I want to know everything I can possibly learn about gender studies and why things happen, as well as what I can do to help prevent and fix the problems in society. Upon reading to about the halfway mark of the first chapter, my stomach starts to fill with dread. I now know that my feelings toward this class are going to be love/HATE. I’m going to love the knowledge and what it’s going to help me accomplish, but I’m also going to despise the knowledge it gives me because it’s so terrible and nauseating.
Getting past the introduction to the chapter, I started taking notes and paying close attention to the research Belknap has done. All of her information is very well supported, and completely changes my view of society. “The title of this book was chosen to reflect the strong theme of invisibility in the three major areas covered in the book: (1) women and girls as offenders, (2) women and girls as victims, and (3) women professionals working in the crime-processing system” [pg2].
Introduction to Chapter 1
When you think about statistics, do you doubt them or doubt the people who conducted the research? If the stats are quoted in a valid, reliable source [say a scientific journal or a well-known and well-respected news channel], you probably believe they are at least mostly correct and unbiased. See, in the twenty-first century, people like to delude themselves into believing that this world [not including the third world countries] has progressed significantly. And it has, but not as much as you may like to believe. If you pay attention to headlines on news websites, you’ll see the constant complaints and battles over unequal pay between genders and the shunning of anyone who doesn’t fit into one neat little category. While we’ve made progress past women being kept in the home as pets or homemakers, we haven’t made this world a place that values perfect equality.
While reading the first few pages of this book [not even the complete first chapter], my viewpoint has changed drastically. I’ve now decided I’m going to doubt every statistic I read until I do my own research and find that many scientific sources agree with the numbers. Unless I find that multiple scientific sources believe approximately the same thing, I’ll be ignoring the panic-inducing headlines while those around me fall into the trap of the media. My reasoning? Belknap states “Until the late 1970s, it was highly unusual for these studies [studies about what causes crime, primarily in juvenile males] to include girls (or women) in their samples. Although gender is the strongest factor for indicating a person’s likelihood to break the law, these (almost exclusively male) researchers rarely thought it necessary to include women or girls in their samples” [pg 3]. Time seemed to slow when I read this and it took me a handful of minutes to actually process what she had written. People in this world trust researchers and scientists to be unbiased and all-encompassing in their research, yet they knowingly [purposely!] leave out a whole gender from their studies? While a part of me rebels at the idea, the realistic side of my mind agrees. In our idealistic world, everyone in a position of power is honest, hard working, and wants to make this world the best place it can be, especially for the coming generations. But if you pay attention to politics, even just enough to roll your eyes at the commercials, you’ll see that the system we rely on is corrupted and subjective.
“Women and Girls as Offenders”
Belknap quotes another researcher when she says “Criminology theories were constructed ‘by men, about men’ and explain male behavior rather than human behavior” [pg 3]. Being raised to believe everyone is equal, it took me a few minutes to believe the truth in this statement. But she’s right. If so little research or inclusion in research has been done on the female side of criminology [the study of crime], how can female behavior be included in theories that have been made? They can’t! Let’s face reality: the female incarceration rate will soon rival the male incarceration rate because it is growing so much faster than men’s, but we don’t know why because so few people are studying the trends [pg 5]. Belknap believes studying why females offend less frequently than males could provide valuable clues for explaining and dealing with men’s criminal activity [pg 3].
“Whereas social class, access to opportunities to learn crime, and area of residence in a city have been used to explain boys’ likelihood of turning to crime, the causes of girls’ criminality were rarely examined until more recent years” and even then “when researchers did include girls in their samples it was typically to see how girls fit into the boys’ equations [theories of why they turn to crime]” [pg 4, 3]. The main focus is still on males, even though we claim to be a world of much more equal standing.
A large area of inequality in female offenders is the correctional facilities they are provided. “The prisons and delinquent institutions for women and girls, both historically and presently, vary drastically from those for boys and men, mostly to the disadvantage of girls. Moreover, historically, treatment and punishment issues/opportunities differed vastly for women based on race” [pg 4]. I wish I could understand why, if females are such delicate creatures who aren’t capable of the same treatment and work as men, are females given less advanced facilities and programs to help them? Belknap blames the difference on lack of interest [pg 5].
“Women and Girls as Victims”
It’s no secret that girls are taught to fear walking home alone in the dark. In fact the lesson is reinforced everywhere, especially with “gentlemen” who offer to see their dates home safely. I’m not saying I would turn down an offer to be escorted home, because I am quite the sucker for the strong male who wants to protect and care for his woman. What I am saying is that young girls shouldn’t be taught this lesson to begin with. Belknap calls it a “‘gendered’ form of victimization” [pg 5].
Other examples of gendered victimizations include birth control methods, breast implants, and egg harvesting for infertile couples, all of which at one time had not been studied thoroughly enough to be proven safe or unsafe [pgs 5-6]. She quotes two other scholars when she says they “identify Dow Corning (the largest supplier of silicone breast implants), plastic surgeons, and ‘an apparently indifferent government’ as they key players in allowing this dangerous procedure [breast implants]… These scholars document that the FDA approved these implants despite inadequate research assessing their safety. In 1991, rather than recalling the procedure until adequate safety testing could be conducted, they simply called for more testing” [pg 5]. Medical professionals, government professionals, and government agencies are all being trusted with the safety of civilians and the safety of the coming generations, yet they approved products that hadn’t been thoroughly tested. She quotes from another source that “The committee argued that they chose not to end or restrict silicone implants- despite the suspected risks- because they were a public health necessity both after cancer surgery and simply to enlarge breasts” [pg 5-6]. I don’t know about any one else, but the idea that having plastic surgery is a “necessity” in this materialistic society infuriates me, especially since there are other options for breast cancer survivors.
As for the practice of paying women to go through intense drug therapy to produce eggs for infertile couples? This just has me shaking my head. Aren’t there enough unwanted, starving, homeless, family-less children in this world without putting a young woman’s life in possible danger? “To date, little is known about the long-term effects of this intrusive medical procedure of “harvesting” eggs. Indeed, it may be that the heavy drug treatment used to produce numerous eggs, temporarily “throwing” these women into hyper ovulation, may increase these “donors’” chance not only of ovarian cancer but also of infertility problems themselves later on” [pg 6]. This statement blows my mind. Even with the lack of evidence pointing towards safe or unsafe, throwing off your body’s natural rhythm by pumping it full of unneeded medication is not healthy. Belknap states that this practice “may well end up being classified as a form of organizational crime” [pg 6].
“Women as Professionals in the Crime-Processing System”
I’m actually going to skip this section, since I’ve already mentioned inequalities in professions. You can find all sorts of information in the news about professional inequality problems.
“Blurring of Boundaries of Women’s Experiences in Crime”
During the interviewing Belknap did of women prisoners and policewomen, she noticed that the categories of victims, offenders, and professionals usually overlapped. The interviews “included numerous disclosures by these workers of having survived incest, extrafamilial child sexual abuse, stranger rape, and woman battering in intimate relationships. (A number of the women police officers discussed battering perpetrated by their police officer husbands.)” [pg 7]. Many of Belknap’s interviews showed her that there may be a parallel between prior victimization and the following offending and incarceration. Professional women in the crime-processing system were also [usually] survivors of some kind of abuse, which could be their reasoning for joining law enforcement like they did, though the relationship between victimization and choice of professional career hasn’t been studied or researched [pg 7].
“Historically, the crime-processing system that chronically failed to respond to battered women as victims responded harshly to them as ‘offenders’” [pg 7]. Many times, the battered women who end up killing their abusers in self-defense also typically end up with harsher and longer sentences than their male counterparts who killed their wives [pg 7-8]. “A more recent study documents how girls tried and convicted at the deepest end of the system, those tried and convicted as adults… often experience extreme victimizations ignored by the same systems that treat their offending at the most serious levels” [pg 8]. The system who should have protected them and taken care of them after their victimization failed them, and failed them twice over when they took extreme measures to punish those who acted out for the attention they deserved. I’m not saying that breaking laws is the way to go to get attention if you’ve been victimized, but that is what happens.
I’ve run out of steam to keep writing. These are the only sections I felt driven to write about so far, but the writing has exhausted me for now. I had to share the information I’ve been given, and express my outrage at all of the stupid inequalities that can be prevented with very simple procedures. Equal studying of male and female behavior would be the very beginning of the solution.
So much can change with the effort! Please join me in being part of the solution and not increasing the problem!
All of my quotes are taken from a book required for my Crimes Against Women course at Grand Valley State University. The Invisible Woman: Gender, Crime, and Justice, third edition published in 2007, written by Joanne Belknap. It is a very well researched and documented book, so the quotes I use and information I present in my blog post are going to be treated as near fact (or, if not fact, then strongly supported statements.) Anything that is in parentheses inside a quote “(example)for you” is a part of the quote. Anything in brackets [example] is something I added to help the context of the quote. I’m also going to use the same headings that Belknap uses in her book, merely because they are spot on.
Now, onto the real topic of the blog post. As Crimes Against Women comes close to starting it’s second week, I have to read the first chapter of Belknap’s book. In the beginning I was very excited. I want to know everything I can possibly learn about gender studies and why things happen, as well as what I can do to help prevent and fix the problems in society. Upon reading to about the halfway mark of the first chapter, my stomach starts to fill with dread. I now know that my feelings toward this class are going to be love/HATE. I’m going to love the knowledge and what it’s going to help me accomplish, but I’m also going to despise the knowledge it gives me because it’s so terrible and nauseating.
Getting past the introduction to the chapter, I started taking notes and paying close attention to the research Belknap has done. All of her information is very well supported, and completely changes my view of society. “The title of this book was chosen to reflect the strong theme of invisibility in the three major areas covered in the book: (1) women and girls as offenders, (2) women and girls as victims, and (3) women professionals working in the crime-processing system” [pg2].
Introduction to Chapter 1
When you think about statistics, do you doubt them or doubt the people who conducted the research? If the stats are quoted in a valid, reliable source [say a scientific journal or a well-known and well-respected news channel], you probably believe they are at least mostly correct and unbiased. See, in the twenty-first century, people like to delude themselves into believing that this world [not including the third world countries] has progressed significantly. And it has, but not as much as you may like to believe. If you pay attention to headlines on news websites, you’ll see the constant complaints and battles over unequal pay between genders and the shunning of anyone who doesn’t fit into one neat little category. While we’ve made progress past women being kept in the home as pets or homemakers, we haven’t made this world a place that values perfect equality.
While reading the first few pages of this book [not even the complete first chapter], my viewpoint has changed drastically. I’ve now decided I’m going to doubt every statistic I read until I do my own research and find that many scientific sources agree with the numbers. Unless I find that multiple scientific sources believe approximately the same thing, I’ll be ignoring the panic-inducing headlines while those around me fall into the trap of the media. My reasoning? Belknap states “Until the late 1970s, it was highly unusual for these studies [studies about what causes crime, primarily in juvenile males] to include girls (or women) in their samples. Although gender is the strongest factor for indicating a person’s likelihood to break the law, these (almost exclusively male) researchers rarely thought it necessary to include women or girls in their samples” [pg 3]. Time seemed to slow when I read this and it took me a handful of minutes to actually process what she had written. People in this world trust researchers and scientists to be unbiased and all-encompassing in their research, yet they knowingly [purposely!] leave out a whole gender from their studies? While a part of me rebels at the idea, the realistic side of my mind agrees. In our idealistic world, everyone in a position of power is honest, hard working, and wants to make this world the best place it can be, especially for the coming generations. But if you pay attention to politics, even just enough to roll your eyes at the commercials, you’ll see that the system we rely on is corrupted and subjective.
“Women and Girls as Offenders”
Belknap quotes another researcher when she says “Criminology theories were constructed ‘by men, about men’ and explain male behavior rather than human behavior” [pg 3]. Being raised to believe everyone is equal, it took me a few minutes to believe the truth in this statement. But she’s right. If so little research or inclusion in research has been done on the female side of criminology [the study of crime], how can female behavior be included in theories that have been made? They can’t! Let’s face reality: the female incarceration rate will soon rival the male incarceration rate because it is growing so much faster than men’s, but we don’t know why because so few people are studying the trends [pg 5]. Belknap believes studying why females offend less frequently than males could provide valuable clues for explaining and dealing with men’s criminal activity [pg 3].
“Whereas social class, access to opportunities to learn crime, and area of residence in a city have been used to explain boys’ likelihood of turning to crime, the causes of girls’ criminality were rarely examined until more recent years” and even then “when researchers did include girls in their samples it was typically to see how girls fit into the boys’ equations [theories of why they turn to crime]” [pg 4, 3]. The main focus is still on males, even though we claim to be a world of much more equal standing.
A large area of inequality in female offenders is the correctional facilities they are provided. “The prisons and delinquent institutions for women and girls, both historically and presently, vary drastically from those for boys and men, mostly to the disadvantage of girls. Moreover, historically, treatment and punishment issues/opportunities differed vastly for women based on race” [pg 4]. I wish I could understand why, if females are such delicate creatures who aren’t capable of the same treatment and work as men, are females given less advanced facilities and programs to help them? Belknap blames the difference on lack of interest [pg 5].
“Women and Girls as Victims”
It’s no secret that girls are taught to fear walking home alone in the dark. In fact the lesson is reinforced everywhere, especially with “gentlemen” who offer to see their dates home safely. I’m not saying I would turn down an offer to be escorted home, because I am quite the sucker for the strong male who wants to protect and care for his woman. What I am saying is that young girls shouldn’t be taught this lesson to begin with. Belknap calls it a “‘gendered’ form of victimization” [pg 5].
Other examples of gendered victimizations include birth control methods, breast implants, and egg harvesting for infertile couples, all of which at one time had not been studied thoroughly enough to be proven safe or unsafe [pgs 5-6]. She quotes two other scholars when she says they “identify Dow Corning (the largest supplier of silicone breast implants), plastic surgeons, and ‘an apparently indifferent government’ as they key players in allowing this dangerous procedure [breast implants]… These scholars document that the FDA approved these implants despite inadequate research assessing their safety. In 1991, rather than recalling the procedure until adequate safety testing could be conducted, they simply called for more testing” [pg 5]. Medical professionals, government professionals, and government agencies are all being trusted with the safety of civilians and the safety of the coming generations, yet they approved products that hadn’t been thoroughly tested. She quotes from another source that “The committee argued that they chose not to end or restrict silicone implants- despite the suspected risks- because they were a public health necessity both after cancer surgery and simply to enlarge breasts” [pg 5-6]. I don’t know about any one else, but the idea that having plastic surgery is a “necessity” in this materialistic society infuriates me, especially since there are other options for breast cancer survivors.
As for the practice of paying women to go through intense drug therapy to produce eggs for infertile couples? This just has me shaking my head. Aren’t there enough unwanted, starving, homeless, family-less children in this world without putting a young woman’s life in possible danger? “To date, little is known about the long-term effects of this intrusive medical procedure of “harvesting” eggs. Indeed, it may be that the heavy drug treatment used to produce numerous eggs, temporarily “throwing” these women into hyper ovulation, may increase these “donors’” chance not only of ovarian cancer but also of infertility problems themselves later on” [pg 6]. This statement blows my mind. Even with the lack of evidence pointing towards safe or unsafe, throwing off your body’s natural rhythm by pumping it full of unneeded medication is not healthy. Belknap states that this practice “may well end up being classified as a form of organizational crime” [pg 6].
“Women as Professionals in the Crime-Processing System”
I’m actually going to skip this section, since I’ve already mentioned inequalities in professions. You can find all sorts of information in the news about professional inequality problems.
“Blurring of Boundaries of Women’s Experiences in Crime”
During the interviewing Belknap did of women prisoners and policewomen, she noticed that the categories of victims, offenders, and professionals usually overlapped. The interviews “included numerous disclosures by these workers of having survived incest, extrafamilial child sexual abuse, stranger rape, and woman battering in intimate relationships. (A number of the women police officers discussed battering perpetrated by their police officer husbands.)” [pg 7]. Many of Belknap’s interviews showed her that there may be a parallel between prior victimization and the following offending and incarceration. Professional women in the crime-processing system were also [usually] survivors of some kind of abuse, which could be their reasoning for joining law enforcement like they did, though the relationship between victimization and choice of professional career hasn’t been studied or researched [pg 7].
“Historically, the crime-processing system that chronically failed to respond to battered women as victims responded harshly to them as ‘offenders’” [pg 7]. Many times, the battered women who end up killing their abusers in self-defense also typically end up with harsher and longer sentences than their male counterparts who killed their wives [pg 7-8]. “A more recent study documents how girls tried and convicted at the deepest end of the system, those tried and convicted as adults… often experience extreme victimizations ignored by the same systems that treat their offending at the most serious levels” [pg 8]. The system who should have protected them and taken care of them after their victimization failed them, and failed them twice over when they took extreme measures to punish those who acted out for the attention they deserved. I’m not saying that breaking laws is the way to go to get attention if you’ve been victimized, but that is what happens.
I’ve run out of steam to keep writing. These are the only sections I felt driven to write about so far, but the writing has exhausted me for now. I had to share the information I’ve been given, and express my outrage at all of the stupid inequalities that can be prevented with very simple procedures. Equal studying of male and female behavior would be the very beginning of the solution.
So much can change with the effort! Please join me in being part of the solution and not increasing the problem!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
The US Budget Deficit
I thought I would blog on this,
since it's been on my mind a lot lately. I made a Facebook status that
made my family laugh, but I one that I actually believe, and it read "I think two of
my aunts working together could fix this country's unbalanced budget."
My dad's two sisters are great at financial planning and never have problems with making numbers crunch the way they want them to. They always know how much they can spend on lunch or movies or a shopping trip, and rarely do they allow themselves to overspend (unless those sales are amazing).
It makes me wonder how the people elected for these positions, elected for their "skills" (I use quotes because I honestly wonder if they have any skills at all), can sit back and have so many meetings about the problems in this country (including people living on park benches, in tents in the middle of a Michigan winter, and unable to feed their children), and yet still not reach any semblance of a conclusion or solution.
I honestly don't know how it is so very hard to shuffle money around and fix the deficit, even if it means cutting funds to some organizations. Yes, those organizations will have to also make changes, but everyone had to make changes when the economy crashed.
Does anyone have any sort of opinionated explanation for me?
My dad's two sisters are great at financial planning and never have problems with making numbers crunch the way they want them to. They always know how much they can spend on lunch or movies or a shopping trip, and rarely do they allow themselves to overspend (unless those sales are amazing).
It makes me wonder how the people elected for these positions, elected for their "skills" (I use quotes because I honestly wonder if they have any skills at all), can sit back and have so many meetings about the problems in this country (including people living on park benches, in tents in the middle of a Michigan winter, and unable to feed their children), and yet still not reach any semblance of a conclusion or solution.
I honestly don't know how it is so very hard to shuffle money around and fix the deficit, even if it means cutting funds to some organizations. Yes, those organizations will have to also make changes, but everyone had to make changes when the economy crashed.
Does anyone have any sort of opinionated explanation for me?
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
For Her
I've been thinking lately, that maybe you don't understand my side. Maybe you don't think about anyone but yourself and where you are in life, what you need in the present.
There will come a day when you realize you've alienated those who would have been there for you through it all. You've burned the bridges connecting you to your family, only calling when you need something. You called your dad for money for your apartment, even though you complain that you have no time to do anything else because you're working three jobs and taking a few summer classes. Even though I've tried multiple times to contact you, and in multiple different ways, I always get excuses like "I'm really busy right now" or "Hey, I'm out with my sorority sisters, so I'll call you back tomorrow."
But do you? It's been at least two months since I tried to talk to you the last time, and you still haven't bothered to try to return my messages. You're so caught up in your own life, in your own problems, that you never look back to see how your family is. Sure, you saw your siblings and parents the other day. For how long?
When's the last time you talked to your father's mother? Did you bother to ask how she'd healed and how she was doing after her ankle surgery, when it'd been broken in three places? Did you send a card, which would have costs whatever a stamp costs these days if you'd have wrote a letter on a piece of paper and made your own little envelope? What about the rest of the family, who is caught in the middle of a feud between two of the individual families? Or the cousin who owns the property we camp on, which you're so eager to get to for a vacation? He hit a deer on his motorcycle a few days ago, skinned up his back bad enough so that one of his tattoos is destroyed; the bike doesn't sound like its salvageable, though the engine might be; he has three cracked ribs, is in constant pain trying to breathe, yet he wants to go back to work less than a week after the accident.
On top of all the others, there's me. The one you vowed to never lose contact with, vowed that we'd always be close as sisters. Just yesterday, "me" found out that in order to fix the pain in my knees that has me taking Vicodin daily to make it through, I have to have surgery. So the next year to two years of my life are going to be very trying and painful.
But obviously you don't care enough to make time to learn these things, or keep connections open with your family. I hope you don't expect us to make a huge deal over you when you do finally come back. I can guarantee I am not the only one who feels this way.
There will come a day when you realize you've alienated those who would have been there for you through it all. You've burned the bridges connecting you to your family, only calling when you need something. You called your dad for money for your apartment, even though you complain that you have no time to do anything else because you're working three jobs and taking a few summer classes. Even though I've tried multiple times to contact you, and in multiple different ways, I always get excuses like "I'm really busy right now" or "Hey, I'm out with my sorority sisters, so I'll call you back tomorrow."
But do you? It's been at least two months since I tried to talk to you the last time, and you still haven't bothered to try to return my messages. You're so caught up in your own life, in your own problems, that you never look back to see how your family is. Sure, you saw your siblings and parents the other day. For how long?
When's the last time you talked to your father's mother? Did you bother to ask how she'd healed and how she was doing after her ankle surgery, when it'd been broken in three places? Did you send a card, which would have costs whatever a stamp costs these days if you'd have wrote a letter on a piece of paper and made your own little envelope? What about the rest of the family, who is caught in the middle of a feud between two of the individual families? Or the cousin who owns the property we camp on, which you're so eager to get to for a vacation? He hit a deer on his motorcycle a few days ago, skinned up his back bad enough so that one of his tattoos is destroyed; the bike doesn't sound like its salvageable, though the engine might be; he has three cracked ribs, is in constant pain trying to breathe, yet he wants to go back to work less than a week after the accident.
On top of all the others, there's me. The one you vowed to never lose contact with, vowed that we'd always be close as sisters. Just yesterday, "me" found out that in order to fix the pain in my knees that has me taking Vicodin daily to make it through, I have to have surgery. So the next year to two years of my life are going to be very trying and painful.
But obviously you don't care enough to make time to learn these things, or keep connections open with your family. I hope you don't expect us to make a huge deal over you when you do finally come back. I can guarantee I am not the only one who feels this way.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Skinny and Healthy
I don't mean to be yet another voice to complain about the female celebrities and their body shapes, but I do want to lend my voice to the distinction between skinny/fat/curvy and HEALTHY.
I have no problem admitting that I'd like to lose weight (and am working on it) and be a smaller size. I have no problem saying that to anyone who bothered to ask. But I defend my choice to lose weight as becoming HEALTHY, not skinny. I was overweight in high school, and thanks to the prescription steroids used to treat my allergy break outs after graduation, I gained even more. I look around at the magazines and the department stores, with their cute jeans, shirts, and bikinis and wonder. I wonder about my life and the choices and circumstances I'm faced with. All those little things that have put me where I am today.
Mostly I wonder about those company CEO's and presidents, wonder about their choices to promote tiny, stick-figure, scantily girls as being healthy and the "ideal" model. I wonder who, in the long line of people to blame, really has the influence to stop the madness of this generation.
How is Mischa Barton healthy? Thanks to being called overweight at her size 6 during her time in the O.C., she dropped to a size 0 in 6 months! Losing that much weight leaves her body at risk of illness and infection due to malnutrition. Giving into peer pressure and criticism, and dieting unhealthily and unnecessarily. Is she a good role model for our children? Our kids have enough on their plate to deal with every day without having the media agree that they should be skinnier and look like their tiny classmates.
I just read an article about unhealthy celebrities and famous faces, with a small section about models. The article (found HERE) says that models are required to be so very skinny to focus viewers on the clothes they wear (if you ask me, it should be the lack of clothing they wear) instead of any curves they may have.
Is this model what our young girls should aspire to look and dress like? Should our girls look so frail and breakable while covering so little skin and flaunting their bodies? This model is no role model either! There is no possible way she is healthy at this size, and she is certainly not dressed in appropriate clothing to be in front of so many people.
Celebrity role models should not concentrate on what critics say about their bodies or their weight. They should focus on being healthy and a good model for young girls and boys to look up to. As Demi Lovato says in THIS article about when her breakdown occurred: “It was the time in the tabloids when very, very skinny girls were on the cover of every magazine and that’s what I was looking up to. That’s what I had to idolize. I don't want that for young girls to idolize.”
This is a happy, healthy role model for our children to look up to. Demi Lovato is very open about her breakdown and health problems, as well as the reason she developed them. She is constantly working to overcome her health problems and continue to be healthy. Yes, she fell down and gave into the pressures to be skinny and "hip". But she's since then stood up stronger than ever, ready to promote health and happiness to the next generation.
I have no problem admitting that I'd like to lose weight (and am working on it) and be a smaller size. I have no problem saying that to anyone who bothered to ask. But I defend my choice to lose weight as becoming HEALTHY, not skinny. I was overweight in high school, and thanks to the prescription steroids used to treat my allergy break outs after graduation, I gained even more. I look around at the magazines and the department stores, with their cute jeans, shirts, and bikinis and wonder. I wonder about my life and the choices and circumstances I'm faced with. All those little things that have put me where I am today.
Mostly I wonder about those company CEO's and presidents, wonder about their choices to promote tiny, stick-figure, scantily girls as being healthy and the "ideal" model. I wonder who, in the long line of people to blame, really has the influence to stop the madness of this generation.
I just read an article about unhealthy celebrities and famous faces, with a small section about models. The article (found HERE) says that models are required to be so very skinny to focus viewers on the clothes they wear (if you ask me, it should be the lack of clothing they wear) instead of any curves they may have.
Celebrity role models should not concentrate on what critics say about their bodies or their weight. They should focus on being healthy and a good model for young girls and boys to look up to. As Demi Lovato says in THIS article about when her breakdown occurred: “It was the time in the tabloids when very, very skinny girls were on the cover of every magazine and that’s what I was looking up to. That’s what I had to idolize. I don't want that for young girls to idolize.”
Monday, May 14, 2012
Random Act of Kindness BLITZ!
A smile. An encouraging word. A thoughtful gesture. Each day people interact with us, help, and make our day a bit brighter and full. This is especially true in the Writing Community.
Take a second to think about writers you know, like the critique partner who works with you to improve your manuscript. The writing friend who listens, supports and keeps you strong when times are tough. The author who generously offers council, advice and inspiration when asked.
So many people take the time to make us feel special, don't they? They comment on our blogs, re-tweet our posts, chat with us on forums and wish us Happy Birthday on Facebook.
To commemorate the release of their book The Emotion Thesaurus, Becca and Angela at The Bookshelf Muse are hosting a TITANIC Random Act Of Kindness BLITZ. And because I think KINDNESS is contagious, I'm participating too!
I am offering my friend, Stephanie, a complete read through of her finished novel if she'd like it. She's been a great friend to me and is an amazing critique-er as well as penpal!
Do you know someone special that you'd like to randomly acknowledge? Don't be shy--come join us and celebrate! Send them an email, give them a shout out, or show your appreciation in another way. Kindness makes the world go round. :)
Becca and Angela have a special RAOK gift waiting for you as well, so hop on over to The Bookshelf Muse to pick it up.
Have you ever participated in or been the recipient of a Random Act Of Kindness? Let me know in the comments!
A Personal Note: This was a pre-written message promoting for their book release. I'm looking forward to someday getting a copy of the book, though being a college student, I have different priorities right now unfortunately. Their posts on their blog that contain some of the thesaurus were a perfect way for me to help out my characters and determine their characteristics in the beginning of the novel. Yes, only the beginning. After all, good characters take on a life of their own. ;)
Take a second to think about writers you know, like the critique partner who works with you to improve your manuscript. The writing friend who listens, supports and keeps you strong when times are tough. The author who generously offers council, advice and inspiration when asked.
So many people take the time to make us feel special, don't they? They comment on our blogs, re-tweet our posts, chat with us on forums and wish us Happy Birthday on Facebook.
Kindness ROCKS!
To commemorate the release of their book The Emotion Thesaurus, Becca and Angela at The Bookshelf Muse are hosting a TITANIC Random Act Of Kindness BLITZ. And because I think KINDNESS is contagious, I'm participating too!
I am offering my friend, Stephanie, a complete read through of her finished novel if she'd like it. She's been a great friend to me and is an amazing critique-er as well as penpal!
Do you know someone special that you'd like to randomly acknowledge? Don't be shy--come join us and celebrate! Send them an email, give them a shout out, or show your appreciation in another way. Kindness makes the world go round. :)
Becca and Angela have a special RAOK gift waiting for you as well, so hop on over to The Bookshelf Muse to pick it up.
Have you ever participated in or been the recipient of a Random Act Of Kindness? Let me know in the comments!
A Personal Note: This was a pre-written message promoting for their book release. I'm looking forward to someday getting a copy of the book, though being a college student, I have different priorities right now unfortunately. Their posts on their blog that contain some of the thesaurus were a perfect way for me to help out my characters and determine their characteristics in the beginning of the novel. Yes, only the beginning. After all, good characters take on a life of their own. ;)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
The Ian Somerhalder Foundation
I was going to do a post about Mother's Day and the non-eventful day at my house, but that would have been completely boring. Instead, I wanted to share information about a new foundation I've found online. I (along with lots and lots of Vampire Diaries fans) was Googling Ian Somerhalder on Thursday night, completely freaked about the season finale. And I found out that he started a foundation to help save the world!
You can check out the website for yourself HERE.
"The (Ian Somerhalder) FOUNDATION aims to empower, educate and collaborate with people and projects to positively impact the planet and its creatures." As a foundation, it isn't just one group of people and some Ian Somerhalder fans. It's a huge group of people as well as many different activist groups. "There are numerous causes, many campaigns and organizations aiming to encourage change, which includes ending deforestation, planting trees, eliminating pesticides and healing our planet."
Here is a link for the Gift Shop
And you can Get Involved too! There are all sorts of ways you can get connected with this organization. They've started a book club. There are fundraising opportunities. And volunteering opportunities. This place is amazing! I'm so very excited to see a celebrity making a conscious effort to help the world and end all of the destruction.
Please get involved! This is a great cause, one that I am going to help as well! There are so many ways to contribute here, since it's a foundation that is concentrating on bettering the planet, not one specific thing!
~Kate
You can check out the website for yourself HERE.
"The (Ian Somerhalder) FOUNDATION aims to empower, educate and collaborate with people and projects to positively impact the planet and its creatures." As a foundation, it isn't just one group of people and some Ian Somerhalder fans. It's a huge group of people as well as many different activist groups. "There are numerous causes, many campaigns and organizations aiming to encourage change, which includes ending deforestation, planting trees, eliminating pesticides and healing our planet."
Here is a link for the Gift Shop
And you can Get Involved too! There are all sorts of ways you can get connected with this organization. They've started a book club. There are fundraising opportunities. And volunteering opportunities. This place is amazing! I'm so very excited to see a celebrity making a conscious effort to help the world and end all of the destruction.
Please get involved! This is a great cause, one that I am going to help as well! There are so many ways to contribute here, since it's a foundation that is concentrating on bettering the planet, not one specific thing!
~Kate
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Always A Country Girl
As I write, I'm sitting in my hammock in my backyard. I used some rope from the garage to string it up safely between two trees, both of which I planted as tiny saplings when I was younger. I'm very happy to report that even as close as we are to the river (about a mile, I think) there are only a few bugs bothering me.
Having a bit of firsthand experience, I started thinking about the differences between the "country" and the larger cities.
I like Grand Valley State University, where I transferred to from a community college. It's an amazing school, with helpful and (usually) understanding staff, and a beautiful landscape, as well as a great curriculum. That said, I can't wait to finish school and get out again.
You see, I'm not a city girl. I can't live in a house where my neighbors' windows are less than ten feet away, and they can look in at me if I forget to close the blinds. I have to have room to breathe, a backyard for my future kids to play, ESPECIALLY to hang my dear hammock. (Which I'm taking to school next year and somehow making it hang in my dorm room so I can sleep in it instead of the bed.)
I always knew there was a difference between the smells of my hometown and the smell of my family's campground. But now I've found there is a different smell between home and Grand Rapids. The campground definitely smells the best, with all the trees and weeds and grass and flowers... I'll stop running on now. But the city smells so... dirty. Buses run around campus all day long, in 10 minute intervals (which is excessive if you ask me). There are a LOT of smokers on campus, so every time I walk between classes I'm inhaling secondhand smoke, which pisses me off to no end. Home smells so clean, even outside. Someone in the close neighborhood always has a freshly cut lawn, so you smell the grass. When the wind blows, I can smell my mother's flowers (when they're in bloom, anyways).
I want to find a house farther into the country in this little town. I really can't imagine living anywhere else, though I would if I had to. Demonstrated by my partial relocation to a city.
But I'll make the best of it. I don't hate the city, but I could never live there. There is a certain amount of space a girl like me needs to live, for dogs, maybe a garden, hopefully a few horses. Definitely some foster kids when I get financially set.
Love to all!
Kate
Having a bit of firsthand experience, I started thinking about the differences between the "country" and the larger cities.
I like Grand Valley State University, where I transferred to from a community college. It's an amazing school, with helpful and (usually) understanding staff, and a beautiful landscape, as well as a great curriculum. That said, I can't wait to finish school and get out again.
You see, I'm not a city girl. I can't live in a house where my neighbors' windows are less than ten feet away, and they can look in at me if I forget to close the blinds. I have to have room to breathe, a backyard for my future kids to play, ESPECIALLY to hang my dear hammock. (Which I'm taking to school next year and somehow making it hang in my dorm room so I can sleep in it instead of the bed.)
I always knew there was a difference between the smells of my hometown and the smell of my family's campground. But now I've found there is a different smell between home and Grand Rapids. The campground definitely smells the best, with all the trees and weeds and grass and flowers... I'll stop running on now. But the city smells so... dirty. Buses run around campus all day long, in 10 minute intervals (which is excessive if you ask me). There are a LOT of smokers on campus, so every time I walk between classes I'm inhaling secondhand smoke, which pisses me off to no end. Home smells so clean, even outside. Someone in the close neighborhood always has a freshly cut lawn, so you smell the grass. When the wind blows, I can smell my mother's flowers (when they're in bloom, anyways).
I want to find a house farther into the country in this little town. I really can't imagine living anywhere else, though I would if I had to. Demonstrated by my partial relocation to a city.
But I'll make the best of it. I don't hate the city, but I could never live there. There is a certain amount of space a girl like me needs to live, for dogs, maybe a garden, hopefully a few horses. Definitely some foster kids when I get financially set.
Love to all!
Kate
Friday, May 4, 2012
Technology: Improving Life or Corrupting It?
What do you think about technology? Now give the question true, complete thoughts. Probably, you’re mind goes to all of the good things: telephones, cell phones, and texting mean nearly-instant contact with whomever you choose, removing the hassle of walking/biking/driving; computers do the same as well as make research, math, and organization (among hundreds of other things) easier; television, DVDs, and Internet provide constant entertainment to even the most bored; cars, planes, and trains make transportation quite simple no matter where you plan to go.
But what about the consequences to go with those good things? Phones (especially texting) make us lazy. Would you have gone to see that friend, who is in a neighboring town or even a neighboring state, if you didn’t have fast, reliable, and energy conserving modes of transportation? Probably only once in a while, or maybe a few times per YEAR, which would preserve the excitement of spending quality time.
As a side note, I’ve recently learned that my sister, who is a freshman in the same high school I graduated from, is allowed to text people in class. It’s been nearly four years since I graduated, and the administrators then were very anti-cell phones. They didn’t even like them turned on if you left it in your locker… This is NOT right. Education is going even further downhill.
And how long would that five page research paper take you if you had to read through books to actually learn something, instead of just using Google to find the most relevant matches to your topic? Gosh, that would mean you would have to do some real homework, and spend some quality time in a *gasp* LIBRARY! With all those musty, old books, and the ladies behind the counter with nothing better to do than walk around shushing visitors. (Which, I’ve never met a librarian who shushed people, and I’m a 20 year old bookworm.)
Television and video entertainment add even more to the lazy population. After all, who wants to go outside and kick a ball around or jump on a trampoline when there are talking sponges, idiotic faux-high schoolers, and lame jokes to keep people (of ALL AGES) glued to the television. Life before these shows? There was one? Are you sure?
I’m all for technology, so long as its use is regulated properly. I have a 2000 Monte Carlo. I have an LG Rumor Touch that I love to text with. Obviously I have computer and Internet access, but I’ll even tell you it’s from my personal laptop running on the Highspeed Verizon Internet my family was introduced to early last year. I have shows that I feel I can’t live without, though I’ve proven myself wrong time and time again by missing an episode or ten and not dying.
It’s all about smarts and regulation, and I personally blame the adults in the world. The adults whose parenting skills are lacking, who are self-indulgent, and probably quite lazy.
That car you drive? Whether it’s an old ‘88 Buick something-or-other or a 2012 Ford blah-blah, whether it gets 12 miles per gallon or 40-something, you’re STILL injuring the planet. Don’t whine about how much money you’re wasting on fuel while going places; MAKE SMARTER TRIPS and use less fuel!
That cell phone that you’re probably using to access this blog right now? And the television in the background with the stupid sponge or barely clothed “women” in those music videos? SHUT THEM OFF! Go outside and enjoy the sunshine (with proper sunscreen so you don’t get skin cancer due to the lack of natural protection being slowly killed by the FUEL BEING USED). Grab your kid, or a neighbor, or a friend, and go for a walk. Go to the park and swing while you talk, really swing using your legs, not just sit on them like those “cool” kids do. Take your sister, brother, daughter, son, nephew, or niece outside and teach them to ride a bike, rollerblade, climb a tree, hit a homerun through the neighbor’s window and then run REALLY FAST so you can attempt to blame it on someone else. BE ACTIVE, because the more active you are, the more energy you have (its proven!).
Yes, I said I blame the adults. But YOU can turn it around by getting off your ass and making a difference in your own life.
Turn off the technology and go outside; you’ll be healthier for it. Conserve energy, especially fuel; both your budget and the planet will thank you. Spend some quality time with family and friends without distractions; you’ll end up happier, I guarantee it.
But what about the consequences to go with those good things? Phones (especially texting) make us lazy. Would you have gone to see that friend, who is in a neighboring town or even a neighboring state, if you didn’t have fast, reliable, and energy conserving modes of transportation? Probably only once in a while, or maybe a few times per YEAR, which would preserve the excitement of spending quality time.
As a side note, I’ve recently learned that my sister, who is a freshman in the same high school I graduated from, is allowed to text people in class. It’s been nearly four years since I graduated, and the administrators then were very anti-cell phones. They didn’t even like them turned on if you left it in your locker… This is NOT right. Education is going even further downhill.
And how long would that five page research paper take you if you had to read through books to actually learn something, instead of just using Google to find the most relevant matches to your topic? Gosh, that would mean you would have to do some real homework, and spend some quality time in a *gasp* LIBRARY! With all those musty, old books, and the ladies behind the counter with nothing better to do than walk around shushing visitors. (Which, I’ve never met a librarian who shushed people, and I’m a 20 year old bookworm.)
Television and video entertainment add even more to the lazy population. After all, who wants to go outside and kick a ball around or jump on a trampoline when there are talking sponges, idiotic faux-high schoolers, and lame jokes to keep people (of ALL AGES) glued to the television. Life before these shows? There was one? Are you sure?
I’m all for technology, so long as its use is regulated properly. I have a 2000 Monte Carlo. I have an LG Rumor Touch that I love to text with. Obviously I have computer and Internet access, but I’ll even tell you it’s from my personal laptop running on the Highspeed Verizon Internet my family was introduced to early last year. I have shows that I feel I can’t live without, though I’ve proven myself wrong time and time again by missing an episode or ten and not dying.
It’s all about smarts and regulation, and I personally blame the adults in the world. The adults whose parenting skills are lacking, who are self-indulgent, and probably quite lazy.
That car you drive? Whether it’s an old ‘88 Buick something-or-other or a 2012 Ford blah-blah, whether it gets 12 miles per gallon or 40-something, you’re STILL injuring the planet. Don’t whine about how much money you’re wasting on fuel while going places; MAKE SMARTER TRIPS and use less fuel!
That cell phone that you’re probably using to access this blog right now? And the television in the background with the stupid sponge or barely clothed “women” in those music videos? SHUT THEM OFF! Go outside and enjoy the sunshine (with proper sunscreen so you don’t get skin cancer due to the lack of natural protection being slowly killed by the FUEL BEING USED). Grab your kid, or a neighbor, or a friend, and go for a walk. Go to the park and swing while you talk, really swing using your legs, not just sit on them like those “cool” kids do. Take your sister, brother, daughter, son, nephew, or niece outside and teach them to ride a bike, rollerblade, climb a tree, hit a homerun through the neighbor’s window and then run REALLY FAST so you can attempt to blame it on someone else. BE ACTIVE, because the more active you are, the more energy you have (its proven!).
Yes, I said I blame the adults. But YOU can turn it around by getting off your ass and making a difference in your own life.
Turn off the technology and go outside; you’ll be healthier for it. Conserve energy, especially fuel; both your budget and the planet will thank you. Spend some quality time with family and friends without distractions; you’ll end up happier, I guarantee it.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Sex Ed Reformation in the US
As quoted by the Guttmacher Institute in an article containing statistics of teenage sexual activities, “86% of the decline in the teen pregnancy rate between 1995 and 2002 was the result of dramatic improvements in contraceptive use…” while “just 14% of the decline is attributable to decreased sexual activity” (“Facts on American Teens’ Sources of Information About Sex”). From this statistic, pregnancy rates are not dropping due to teenagers having less sex, but from using contraceptives, yet “Fifteen percent of Americans believe that schools should teach only about abstinence from sexual intercourse and should not provide information on how to obtain and use condoms and other contraceptives” (“Sex Education in America”). The majority of parents want their children to stay safe and innocent for as long as possible, which ideally means to keep them away from sex. But sex is an everyday subject in the 21st century, and knowledge is much safer than ignorance. The sexual education system in the United States needs to be reformed to result in lower unsafe teenage sexual activity statistics, as well as given structure to address the levels of uneducated and poorly educated teenagers.
The current lack of definitive laws about sexual education in schools is one of the largest factors in correcting the high numbers of teenage pregnancies and diseases. An article composed by the National Conference of State Legislatures (NCLS), “State Policies on Sex Education in Schools,” declares that only “18 states require sex education curricula to be medically accurate and/or age appropriate;” they also state that “State policies vary in their determination of ‘medically accurate’; some require that state health departments review curricula, while others require that the facts taught come from “published authorities” trusted by medical professionals. Only 21 states and the District of Columbia require that their high schools teach sexual education (NCLS). Sexual education should not be an option for schools to turn down. Learning about bodily functions, relationships, diseases, and preventative methods is something that needs to be happening in schools today. The number of teenagers having sex before their 19th birthday keeps rising, but schools are falling behind in their responsibility to prepare the next generation for real life. Sex is a large part of real life, especially because many parents teach their children that the subject is a taboo one, something they don’t need to know about. The fifteen percent of American parents who believe abstinence should be the only mention of sexual education are ignoring the very real problem of uneducated and unprotected teenage sex. As stated by a Planned Parenthood article, abstinence-only programs “… strictly exclude discussion of other important sex ed topics, especially those concerned with birth control, safer sex, and sexual orientation. In fact, abstinence-only programs often provide inaccurate and alarmist misinformation about the effectiveness of condoms, contraception, and safer sex.” (“Implementing Sex Education”). Laura Kann, one of the authors of a study conducted in the US about the progress of sexual education, believes school sex education classes can be a good tool to lower the rates of teen pregnancy and the spread of STIs (Beasley). Brigid McKeon’s article “Effective Sex Education” states, “No abstinence-only-until-marriage program has been shown to help teens delay the initiation of sex or to protect themselves when they do initiate sex” but “…the U.S. government has spent over one billion dollars supporting abstinence-only-until-marriage programs,” which in turn is resulting in more teenage pregnancies. “According to The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, which estimates that teen childbearing costs taxpayers nearly $10.9 billion annually” (NCLS).The government needs to focus their efforts towards teaching accurate information about sexual activity, diseases, and contraception, instead of wasting money on an option that is obviously not working, and wasting another extreme amount of money dealing with the aftermath.
The teenage sexual activity stats are quite alarming, especially combining them with the failing sexual education system. “Three in 10 girls will be pregnant at least once before their 20th birthday. Teenage mothers are less likely to finish high school and are more likely than their peers to live in poverty, depend on public assistance, and be in poor health. Their children are more likely to suffer health and cognitive disadvantages, come in contact with the child welfare and correctional systems, live in poverty, drop out of high school and become teen parents themselves” (NCLS). “Among teens aged 18-19, 41% report that they know little or nothing about condoms and 75% say they know little or nothing about the contraceptive pill,” and “More than half (55%) of 7th-12th graders say they have looked up health information online in order to learn more about an issue affecting themselves or someone they know”(“Facts on American Teens’ Sources of Information About Sex”). These statistics are incredibly high and completely unacceptable. Many researchers agree that the numbers could be cut nearly in half with the correct instruction and information, but instead teens are turning to the internet to find information. “The Web sites teens turn to for sexual health information often have inaccurate information. For example, of 177 sexual health Web sites examined in a recent study, 46% of those addressing contraception and 35% of those addressing abortion contained inaccurate information” (“Facts on American Teens’ Sources of Information About Sex”). If the government were to step in and devise an accurate, efficient way of teaching sexual education in schools while keeping up to date with current information, teens would be much safer, teen pregnancy statistics would fall, and the number of new STI cases each year would also decrease.
Education is the safest option to deal with teenagers and their developing sexual drives. Sex is an every day subject in the 21st century, and can be found in small to large amounts nearly everywhere. The sexual education system in the United States is failing and reformation is needed to protect and nurture the next generation. Diseases and unplanned pregnancy numbers could be lowered with accurate, trusted information.
PS- I've left the cited works out of the blog in case there are any losers out there who try to copy my work. Get a brain assholes. Do your own work.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Teach Contraception, Stress Abstinence
I haven't decided if I'll post it here or not, but I chose to write a paper instead of taking a final exam. Yes, that professor is pretty cool. I chose to write an argumentative/opinion paper on teaching safe sexual habits (like contraceptives and such) while stressing abstinence. After looking at statistics and articles written on the subject I've come to a conclusion:
The 15% of American parents who believe their children should only be learning abstinence in school are NUTS. Abso-freaking-lutely crazy.
I understand that parental need to keep your child as innocent as possible for as long as you can. I am the second oldest out of 18 grandchildren, and I feel quite maternal to every one of them. But I'm not an idiot. They are going to have sex, probably while they are still in school. And since most of them are in large-city schools, there are more than likely STDs somewhere in that school with the possibility of being passed around.
So instead of burying my head in the sand and ignoring reality for the pleasure of living in a fantasy world, I want to educate them. Well, not actually teach them myself, because I know the awkwardness of that situation and don't want to put them or myself through it. But I want them TO be educated. I want them and my own children to be smart enough to say "Well, I know what to do to be safe" if they are going to ignore the request of abstinence.
Abstinence is not something that happens often in the 21st century, and certainly not in my generation (I'm quite ashamed to admit). I do not believe preaching abstinence is going to keep teenagers from giving into their hormones and messing around with their significant other (even if teens don't consider anything but penetration "real" sex). I believe that abstinence is something that the teen needs to decide for him/herself, and their parents aren't always going to be able to push them towards abstinence. Celebrities, movies, TV shows, porn, peers, social lives... they all make a difference in teen lives. If you look around, all of these things are linked in one way or another to sex or sexual activities (obviously porn, duh). They all matter, and whether the teens admit to it or not, they are affected by their surroundings.
I hope that those 15% of American parents eventually pull their heads out of their asses and realize the reality of this country (and world) is much different than they may like, but they need to adapt. Instead of preaching abstinence and the whole "sex is bad" point of view, why not make your child or teen smart enough to be safe? Abstinence would be ideal, but if they're going to ignore abstinence, at least give them the means to be safe while doing so.
In my mind, even if 99% of teens in high school were having sex using 2 methods of protection (condoms and birth control, for example), there would be a helluva lot less teen pregnancies and futures changed.
The 15% of American parents who believe their children should only be learning abstinence in school are NUTS. Abso-freaking-lutely crazy.
I understand that parental need to keep your child as innocent as possible for as long as you can. I am the second oldest out of 18 grandchildren, and I feel quite maternal to every one of them. But I'm not an idiot. They are going to have sex, probably while they are still in school. And since most of them are in large-city schools, there are more than likely STDs somewhere in that school with the possibility of being passed around.
So instead of burying my head in the sand and ignoring reality for the pleasure of living in a fantasy world, I want to educate them. Well, not actually teach them myself, because I know the awkwardness of that situation and don't want to put them or myself through it. But I want them TO be educated. I want them and my own children to be smart enough to say "Well, I know what to do to be safe" if they are going to ignore the request of abstinence.
Abstinence is not something that happens often in the 21st century, and certainly not in my generation (I'm quite ashamed to admit). I do not believe preaching abstinence is going to keep teenagers from giving into their hormones and messing around with their significant other (even if teens don't consider anything but penetration "real" sex). I believe that abstinence is something that the teen needs to decide for him/herself, and their parents aren't always going to be able to push them towards abstinence. Celebrities, movies, TV shows, porn, peers, social lives... they all make a difference in teen lives. If you look around, all of these things are linked in one way or another to sex or sexual activities (obviously porn, duh). They all matter, and whether the teens admit to it or not, they are affected by their surroundings.
I hope that those 15% of American parents eventually pull their heads out of their asses and realize the reality of this country (and world) is much different than they may like, but they need to adapt. Instead of preaching abstinence and the whole "sex is bad" point of view, why not make your child or teen smart enough to be safe? Abstinence would be ideal, but if they're going to ignore abstinence, at least give them the means to be safe while doing so.
In my mind, even if 99% of teens in high school were having sex using 2 methods of protection (condoms and birth control, for example), there would be a helluva lot less teen pregnancies and futures changed.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
A Few Things To Say
1. To those girls who think leggings are pants: THEY ARE NOT! They were designed to go UNDER a skirt or shorts, etc. Showing off your ass, be it a nice toned one or a flabby one, was not the creator's intention. It makes you look like a hooker to walk around campus/stores/cities wearing a skin tight shirt paired with skin tight leggings. Only hookers show off their body in suck a demeaning fashion. There are PLENTY of other ways to show off your assets (read: ASS) without walking around with a wedgie created by spandex.
2. Those who smoke (and some who smoke in NO SMOKING AREAS): KNOCK IT OFF! Seriously, some of us don't want to die as early as 40 from lung cancer or a heart attack. I have plans for my life, which is why I never picked up smoking or drugs. Not only are you taking days, months, years off your own life, BUT OTHERS' AS WELL! Your secondhand smoke slowly kills those around you, even if it's just on your hands or clothes. Please think about this, those of you who have children and precious family. I guarantee they don't appreciate you taking years away from them.
3. Teenage drinkers: I'm neither for it or against it, but if you think you're grown-up enough to drink and make a nuisance of yourself, STAY PUT! Don't leave the place you are drinking, ESPECIALLY IF YOU PLAN TO DRIVE! You are indescribably stupid to think you can drive after even one sip of a drink, let alone driving after multiple drinks. Educate yourself: find out how much time it takes for that alcohol to work it's way out of your blood stream. Not only do you put yourself in danger, but OTHERS as well. If you could care less about killing yourself by driving under the influence, THINK ABOUT OTHERS. Your family would miss you, whether you think so or not. You put everyone else on the road in danger when you get behind the wheel after drinking.
One last thought for those of you who don't think life is all that important: You could be a great influence on the world if you wanted to. If you don't, then go ahead and waste your life. If you actually care about the future, be it the lifestyle of a foster child, abused women, neglected animals, starving kids in third world countries, or the fate of the world: DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH YOUR LIFE! If anything about this world has you thinking or worried, then maybe that's a hint for you to give some of your time to figuring it out, helping the other thousands of people already working towards providing a better future for the next generations.
That is all for today.<3
2. Those who smoke (and some who smoke in NO SMOKING AREAS): KNOCK IT OFF! Seriously, some of us don't want to die as early as 40 from lung cancer or a heart attack. I have plans for my life, which is why I never picked up smoking or drugs. Not only are you taking days, months, years off your own life, BUT OTHERS' AS WELL! Your secondhand smoke slowly kills those around you, even if it's just on your hands or clothes. Please think about this, those of you who have children and precious family. I guarantee they don't appreciate you taking years away from them.
3. Teenage drinkers: I'm neither for it or against it, but if you think you're grown-up enough to drink and make a nuisance of yourself, STAY PUT! Don't leave the place you are drinking, ESPECIALLY IF YOU PLAN TO DRIVE! You are indescribably stupid to think you can drive after even one sip of a drink, let alone driving after multiple drinks. Educate yourself: find out how much time it takes for that alcohol to work it's way out of your blood stream. Not only do you put yourself in danger, but OTHERS as well. If you could care less about killing yourself by driving under the influence, THINK ABOUT OTHERS. Your family would miss you, whether you think so or not. You put everyone else on the road in danger when you get behind the wheel after drinking.
One last thought for those of you who don't think life is all that important: You could be a great influence on the world if you wanted to. If you don't, then go ahead and waste your life. If you actually care about the future, be it the lifestyle of a foster child, abused women, neglected animals, starving kids in third world countries, or the fate of the world: DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH YOUR LIFE! If anything about this world has you thinking or worried, then maybe that's a hint for you to give some of your time to figuring it out, helping the other thousands of people already working towards providing a better future for the next generations.
That is all for today.<3
Thursday, April 12, 2012
A Battle Won Against Depression
Just a month ago, I was having a terrible time with college. I was completely ready to go home and take a break from it all. The homework and classes were more stressful than they were interesting, and despite my medication, I could barely find the drive to leave my dorm. My roommates were (and still are) disgustingly messy people who only started cleaning up after themselves because I royally bitched them out. On top of all that, my daily headaches had started making their way towards daily migraines.
I have wonderful online friends, but no matter how much laughter and happiness they brought me, I always lost it again when I was alone. Nothing I did seemed to work, so the more ideas failed, the farther down it felt like I was spiraling.
My social work group had a project to work on one day, and we had to travel to a local agency to conduct an interview. It was one of those mediocre days, so I was really close to telling them I had a headache and couldn’t go, but I sucked it up and forced myself out of the apartment anyways.
To say that the visit renewed my sense of purpose and reason for being is probably exaggerating tremendously for anyone on the outside. After all, how could interviewing the director of a social work related agency do much more than give a person some new perspective?
It didn’t give me a new perspective. It reminded me of the crazy dream I had somehow forgotten about in the struggle with all the negative. It reminded me that yes, my life may completely suck (on some days), but there was a point to it all and there was an end in sight. It wasn’t as cliché as a light bulb clicking on in my head, or a beam of warm light illuminating the scene before me. Hell, it didn’t even happen that very day. It took a few days of researching the agency and writing my report on it to realize what that visit had done for me.
St John’s Home is very close to what I want to do. They’ve been around for 125 years.
It has an emergency shelter for Child Protective Services to temporarily place children who have been taken from their parents. They might stay only a few hours until another family member can take them into custody, or they might have to stay up to a few months to find a foster home.
They also have a residential program, in which the students (the adults refrain from using the word “resident”, as it has an away-from-home feel to it) stay anywhere from 6 months to about 2 years; some stay longer if they have no suitable adoptive home waiting for them. The goal of the program is to treat their behavioral, mental, etc. problems and get them ready for life in a family setting, whether that means adoption or foster care.
I don’t want to get into too much detail and sound boring, but if you’re interested, you should check out their website or Google “St. John’s Home Grand Rapids Michigan”. The campus doesn’t have an unwelcoming feel to it. The main office is definitely for work, and it shows, but behind the office building is a bridge you cross to walk to the separate houses. And that’s what they are. The students live in houses, with their own bedrooms and personal space. The “parents” of the house are social workers who have a Bachelor’s degree, and there are 3 shifts of “parents” in each house. The students go to the public schools in Grand Rapids, so their lives are as normal as the agency can make them.
I cannot say that my life has made a complete turn around, or that the visit changed my life, or anything of the sort. What I can say is that battling depression is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life, and during one of my darkest times, I forced myself to do something that ended up putting me back on track and reminding me that this is all worth it. The migraines, the stress, the schooling, the disgusting roommates, and being away from home. It’ll all be worth it when I get finished and can make an impact in someone else’s life.
I have wonderful online friends, but no matter how much laughter and happiness they brought me, I always lost it again when I was alone. Nothing I did seemed to work, so the more ideas failed, the farther down it felt like I was spiraling.
My social work group had a project to work on one day, and we had to travel to a local agency to conduct an interview. It was one of those mediocre days, so I was really close to telling them I had a headache and couldn’t go, but I sucked it up and forced myself out of the apartment anyways.
To say that the visit renewed my sense of purpose and reason for being is probably exaggerating tremendously for anyone on the outside. After all, how could interviewing the director of a social work related agency do much more than give a person some new perspective?
It didn’t give me a new perspective. It reminded me of the crazy dream I had somehow forgotten about in the struggle with all the negative. It reminded me that yes, my life may completely suck (on some days), but there was a point to it all and there was an end in sight. It wasn’t as cliché as a light bulb clicking on in my head, or a beam of warm light illuminating the scene before me. Hell, it didn’t even happen that very day. It took a few days of researching the agency and writing my report on it to realize what that visit had done for me.
St John’s Home is very close to what I want to do. They’ve been around for 125 years.
It has an emergency shelter for Child Protective Services to temporarily place children who have been taken from their parents. They might stay only a few hours until another family member can take them into custody, or they might have to stay up to a few months to find a foster home.
They also have a residential program, in which the students (the adults refrain from using the word “resident”, as it has an away-from-home feel to it) stay anywhere from 6 months to about 2 years; some stay longer if they have no suitable adoptive home waiting for them. The goal of the program is to treat their behavioral, mental, etc. problems and get them ready for life in a family setting, whether that means adoption or foster care.
I don’t want to get into too much detail and sound boring, but if you’re interested, you should check out their website or Google “St. John’s Home Grand Rapids Michigan”. The campus doesn’t have an unwelcoming feel to it. The main office is definitely for work, and it shows, but behind the office building is a bridge you cross to walk to the separate houses. And that’s what they are. The students live in houses, with their own bedrooms and personal space. The “parents” of the house are social workers who have a Bachelor’s degree, and there are 3 shifts of “parents” in each house. The students go to the public schools in Grand Rapids, so their lives are as normal as the agency can make them.
I cannot say that my life has made a complete turn around, or that the visit changed my life, or anything of the sort. What I can say is that battling depression is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life, and during one of my darkest times, I forced myself to do something that ended up putting me back on track and reminding me that this is all worth it. The migraines, the stress, the schooling, the disgusting roommates, and being away from home. It’ll all be worth it when I get finished and can make an impact in someone else’s life.
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